Whew chile, what the hell is going on with the dating scene today? We now live in an age where social media has made it easier for people to completely ignore someone by simply unfollowing and/or blocking them and we have sadly let this concept creep into our real-life social interactions. According to Urban Dictionary ghosting is defined as when a person cuts off all forms of communication with friends and/or intimate relationships without any warning or notice beforehand. Now, last week's episode of Insecure put the effects of being ghosted on blast when Issa is ghosted by her boo Nathan after weeks of spending intimate time with together. We saw Issa practically go crazy trying to figure out what happened to cause him to act this way. This episode caused an immediate conversation on Twitter about ghosting and let’s just say that everyone had their own unique opinion about how one should handle being ghosted. One account stated that “No one owes you their time, conversation or explanation. They can come and go at will…There is an odd sense of entitlement that demands that a person must tell you why they don’t want to entertain you anymore. You’re not that special. They don’t owe you that”. Viewing this tweet made me realize the current state of the dating scene today.
The idea that no one owes you anything is a valid point, because no one technically owes anyone anything however, this mindset is toxic. We have become so self-centered that we fail to analyze how our own actions can have a positive or negative impact on someone. Why would you want someone to spend weeks questioning themselves when you could just be an honest, decent human being and let the person know that it is not working rather than ending all communication without warning. The idea that of not owing anyone anything is a self-serving tool that allows people take the easy way out instead of being honest and valuing the concept of open-communication. I have been ghosted before and honestly the shit sucks and that is why I decided I am going to go against the norm and be honest and open with people. I was talking to a guy earlier this year and it was clear he and I were not on the same page so instead of just blocking him without warning, you know what I did? I told him, “hey, this isn’t what I thought it would be and it’s not working”, we both understood and mutually parted ways. This method felt so much more liberating than just blocking him at random without notice. I didn’t have that bad energy from another person coming my way because they felt as if I wronged them. I believe in being good to people no matter how long I have known them because I want that same energy back from the universe. Don’t leave someone with the burden of having to spend weeks wondering if it was them who ruined the situation. Most people do get over being ghosted but since this concept is becoming more common because it is happening on a serial level. How can people truly believe in finding someone when they have to not only worry about finding someone who is decent but now they have to worry about rather or not they are going to get ghosted after spending weeks getting to know someone? Let’s start keeping it real with one another and maybe we can break this curse of ghosting.
Have you ever been ghosted? Talk to me in the comments below.