Welcome to BAQ’s newest series called Life Tips. This series is going to filled with life lessons that we think are vital to living a headache free life. Remember, life can be rough, but we are all in this together so let’s help one another.
You ever heard the saying “some people just don’t know how to be friends”? Well I have heard it many times over the course of my 26 years on this earth and it is one I did not quite understand until I was older. There are indeed some people who do not know how to be friends and most of the time their lack of understanding of friendship causes them to fall short in friendships. I once believed that you can show anyone how to be a friend, but after a much-needed reality check I learned that being a friend is a quality either chooses to possess or doesn’t.
See, as a former people pleaser I can say that most of my friendships have been one-sided. I allowed these one-sided friendships to continue because I needed to do some growing before I could realize that this isn’t the type of friendships that would be beneficial to my overall happiness. In one-sided friendships, there is always one person who is benefiting from the relationship and one person who is suffering. I have had friends that only cared to talk to me when they had something going on in their lives, I have had friends that knew I had a lot going on but would constantly only talk about themselves in conversations, I have even had people who only wanted to be my friend when it benefited them and to be honest, it fucking sucks. One-sided friendships are not only draining but damaging as well. When you are accustomed to being the shoulder for everyone else to lean on, you begin to believe you have to carry your own burdens alone and that makes you feel as if you will never have genuine friendships. I know this because I have been there and I am here to tell you that when you get the sense that your friendship involves more taking than giving, it may be time to reevaluate that person’s place in your life. No friendship should EVER make you feel drained and alone and when it does it is no longer a healthy friendship but a toxic one. Never let someone just take from you and not give. Friendship is meant to be a give and take relationship and once it becomes one that involves more taking than giving, drop that ish and move on.